Your True Torment's Journal
Your True Torment's Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
Your True Torment

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[01 Dec 2005|08:15pm]

Have you ever just cared about someone so much that you cant let them go even though you know its for the best? About a month ago my best friend david and i stopped being friends. Well i guess you couldnt really call it purely a friendship we were more then that. Of course it couldve never worked out i had a boyfriend and he has his girlfriends that he goes through, none of his relationships last or mine and i had one that was working, but it was so boring so of course i had my fling with david. It was supposed to last the time my boyfriend was in ohio. When he was in ohio it seemed ok and my conscience didnt effect me because it was like my boyfriend didnt exsist and i spend every waking second and then some with david. It shouldve stopped right there but it didnt and it lasted the entire summer. I was moving so i thought it would end there but it didnt. I came back to my old school to be with david to see him more because i missed him so much and thats when it ended right there. He called me up the night before and just tells me not to talk to him at school, I was really confused but we were fighting at the time so him not wanting to talk to me wasnt anything.I just said ok and told him he was being an idiot.

He then decided he hated me and that was the worst. I went to school i couldnt even look at him i missed him so much already. I figured hed just forget about it in a few days maybe a week. We could never be mad at eachother for more then a few days, I couldnt be mad at him for more then ten minutes without wanting to hug him. but it never was forgotten, He helped me to stop cutting, he was my best friend in the entire world and although his method of getting me to stop was fucked up he knew it was the only way to get me to stop, as soon as he was out of my life i started again, He turned into someone hes not, he was cruel, and mean, One day he randomly hugged me i just fell over, I started bawling when he left because i saw him smile and i wouldve given anything to see that again. He just replyed with dont fall and we havent talked since, he just yells when i try and get him to listen. Its like none of what happened with him ever mattered to him, and i trusted him with everything. I just dont get it how can someone change how they feel so fast. I started cutting again because i dont have him anymore and everything i do reminds me of him. i just want to stop. But it seems that im just headed down another downhill path
[ Wipe my tears away ]

hey new community... [10 Mar 2005|06:17am]

[ mood | plz add me!! ]

hey i just wanted to tell every1 hi and i want to be in this community...ive been tormented in school for my whole life simply because i have small breasts...and it does hurt and you do think of yourself as inadequate..anyway i would love to meet all of you and i want you all as friends....

leave some comments </3

[ Wipe my tears away ]

[23 Dec 2004|12:27am]


I was bored and the communitys kinda dead.

I am Teneil

I am a disaster

I am a lost cause

I am a loner

I am broken

I am sick and tried of being hurt

I am a child

I am a basket case

I am an artist

I am a self injurer

I am a hopeless romantic

I am far from perfect

Who are you?


[ Wipe my tears away ]

Ello all [21 Dec 2004|05:50pm]

[ mood | crazy ]

Location:Middle of knowere
Do you cut?:hell no
Eating disorder?:again hell no
Been hurt by the one you love?: nope
Tormented in school?: used to now I just kick there ass
What are you looking to find in this community?: People or anything else that stalkes these pages

[ Wipe my tears away ]

[28 Oct 2004|05:40pm]

[ mood | angry ]



it's another one of my communities...JOIN and I'LL LOVE YOU!


[ Wipe my tears away ]

[20 Oct 2004|05:56pm]

Name: Teneil
Nickname: Teny (prounounced teeny)
Age: 13
Location: Canada
Do you cut?: Yes
Eating disorder?: not really,
Been hurt by the one you love?: Yes
Tormented in school?: No
What are you looking to find in this community?: Anything
Two Places you promoted this community: My LJ userinfo
[ 1 faded tears ] :: [ Wipe my tears away ]

[17 Oct 2004|02:11pm]

[ mood | empty ]

Name: molly
Nickname: um...sometimes. Lily. and many various obscure ones
Age: 17
Location: colorado
Do you cut?: well. I've thought about it a lot...
Eating disorder?: no
Been hurt by the one you love?: yeah. though most of it's my fault
Tormented in school?: just by my homework
What are you looking to find in this community?: um. maybe people like me or just friends or...i dunno
Two Places you promoted this community-friends

[ 1 faded tears ] :: [ Wipe my tears away ]

[14 Oct 2004|08:51pm]

Image Hosted by

You know you want to. _spor_a_dic_
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hi its me Jen [12 Oct 2004|06:53pm]

[ mood | crushed ]

hey i posted in here with my old LJ username on October 6... but i thought that i would update you on whats going on with me...:) lets see the last time i cut myself was on October 1 (2004) before my uncles concert (which tottaly kicked major ass!) anywayz It was before the concert when me and my boyfriend and my dad were talking in the living room well my dad has a tendency to yell and scream at me... it usually doesnt bother me but yea since this time it was in front of my bf it was kinda different!!! if you kno what i mean noone likes to get yelled at in front of their bf/gf or friends so i got pissed off and went up in my room and made 3 big gashes on my left leg and 3 big gashes on my right leg... (since i was wearing long pants i didnt worry much about people seeing what i did)... i also puched my wall (which happens to be made of cement since im in the attic) and i really messed up my knuckles now... ok thats about it... not that big of a thing to cut myself over but what the hell I FELT LIKE SHIT!!!!... and i was going to cut myself just a few minutes ago becuz me and my boyfriend just got into a huge fight!!!!! but i decided to take my anger out and write about when i cut myself the last time and how i felt afterward (guilt) so i think writing sometimes helps me with my anger!!! well the fight between us was not that big of a deal but im not in the best mood becuz im in pain (i had to go to the hospital yesterday becuz i had a sist down in my "female area") and the stupid pain killers are not working AT ALL!!!! so usually when im in pain i get agrivated very easy! but anywayz my bf's brother was pissin me off so i got pissed at him and my bf all becuz i was agrivated!!!! and now i feel bad about it cuz my bf said "i love you, bye" on the phone just a couple min ago and i didnt say anything back and now i feel really bad cuz i didnt call him back (my sis is on the phone) and he hasnt called me back so im thinking hes pissed at me...but he didnt even give me enough time to answer back to hime and now I FELL REALLY BAD!!!!!! WHAT SHOULD I DO?????????? im not that good in relationships... but i must be doing something right if he has been with me for about 5 months now :) anywayz my hands are staring to hurt becuz i havent typed this much in a looooonnnnnngggggg ass time so leave me a comment or something with some ADVICE!!!! :) thanx i really need the help ~!~JeNnIfEr~!~

[ 3 faded tears ] :: [ Wipe my tears away ]

[11 Oct 2004|07:30pm]



hereCollapse )

[ Wipe my tears away ]

[09 Oct 2004|02:19pm]

raise the casket, bury another Collapse )
[ 1 faded tears ] :: [ Wipe my tears away ]

Hey [08 Oct 2004|10:38pm]

[ mood | apathetic ]

Name: Terry
Nickname: Well, Terry is a nickname but otherwise, Terreh, chick, Teeree.
Age: 14
Location: Virginia
Do you cut?: yes
Eating disorder?: Not anymore, used to.
Been hurt by the one you love?: More than I can count.
Tormented in school?: No, probably because they don't know me.
What are you looking to find in this community?: People that I can relate to.
Two Places you promoted this community: My deadjournal and my xanga.

[ 2 faded tears ] :: [ Wipe my tears away ]

[07 Oct 2004|07:09pm]

[ mood | he gave me the blade ]

i told myself i wouldn't hurt myself anymore, because i am better than that, but what can i do when life keeps going in a cirlce and never goes forwrd?  last year was the worst year of my life and now this year feels the same. 

i read my friend's posts and i hear what they say about me and i read what they say about me on their aim screen. and i know it scares them to know that i am in danger of myself.  i know i'm thinking of suicide and stuff, but what else can i think of when everything else in my life is going wrong.  my school work is fine, but it could be better, my group of friends (i barely know well enough to call friends) and at home i feel so alone i feel like i'm dead and everyone else is out living and i'm in my house dying by the minute.  there's no one to talk to and the one person i want to talk to wont even talk to me themselves.  and when i talk to them they seem to act like my life means nothing to them and that if i died in their lap, they'd roll me off and step on me as they go on with their life...have you ever felt this way?

this would be me wanna see me sad? look below and you're stepping on my face!

[ 1 faded tears ] :: [ Wipe my tears away ]

[07 Oct 2004|06:54pm]

[ mood | he did this to me ]

Name: charlene cruz
Nickname: sha-sha, char
Age: 15
Location: novato california
Do you cut?: yes
Eating disorder?: no
Been hurt by the one you love?: all the time
Tormented in school?: no
What are you looking to find in this community?: a place to belong
Two Places you promoted this community: randomactsoflov  and mixdfacez

[ 1 faded tears ] :: [ Wipe my tears away ]

[07 Oct 2004|03:05pm]

[ mood | depressed ]

Name: Rebecca
Nickname: Becca
Age: 17
Location: palmerton pennsylvania
Do you cut?: Yes
Eating disorder?: No
Been hurt by the one you love?: yes not just once many times
Tormented in school?: Yes i had to go to 4 different schools and ended up quitting anyways
What are you looking to find in this community?: Accpetance for who i am and people who have been through or are going through this right now to talk to!
Two Places you promoted this community: and

[ 2 faded tears ] :: [ Wipe my tears away ]

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